When you encounter a naysayer

Imagine you’re trying to paint a beautiful picture. You’re happy, you’re enjoying being creative, and your painting is really starting to take shape. Now, imagine someone getting a pen and scribbling all over it. How frustrated would you feel, watching your hard work being destroyed? It’s the same thing when you listen to “naysayers”, people who don’t believe in what you are doing or in your vision. As you focus on your goals and dreams, they talk about the downsides and pitfalls. However, for every second you spend listening to their negative criticism, you are distracted from doing what you need to be doing – focusing! It means you will have to work twice as hard to build your vision. Your goals and dreams are far too precious to allow other people to belittle or destroy them, simply because they can’t see how it’s possible or how it might be possible for them. Don’t share your goals with people who are likely to rip them apart. Instead, share them with people who are already living their goals.

Assess the Naysayer
There is a big difference between someone who gives constructive criticism because they care about you and someone who just wants to have their say to put limits on you. It’s important that you know how to spot the difference between the two.

Questions to ask:
1) Does the person giving their opinion have anything you want or do they lead the kind of lifestyle you want?

2) Does the person have knowledge and expertise in what they are saying?

If the answer is no to the above, don’t get disheartened by their lack of support. They just don’t get it. Don’t expect them to or try to convince them. They haven’t got the results you want so they are not in a position to judge you or advise. If, on the other hand, a person has extensive knowledge and experience in the area you want to excel in, or has achieved the goal you want to achieve, it might be worth listening to their comments with consideration of anything constructive. By assessing the person before you take anything on board you put yourself in a good position to make informed decisions and take productive actions.

Don’t engage in discussion
Naysayers love an opportunity to discuss and debate. Like a dog with a bone, they can grab on to a dream and keep gnawing on it. They do this by asking questions and battling answers. The key is not to engage in discussion and not to answer any questions with long answers that allow for elaboration. If they ask you questions about what you are doing/planning, don’t try to explain the reasoning behind your dreams or why you are so excited about them. They won’t get it or agree with it – period!

Surround yourself with supportive people
It’s commonly said that your results are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I tend to agree. Think about the five people you spend the most time with, and average their income, their relationship status, attitude, health etc. You might find that you hover in the same zone. If you want to excel, be around people who will hold you to a higher standard. That is not to say you dismiss or disown anyone, especially family, but look for people who are successful in the areas you want to be successful in, people with good values, and add them into the equation, if that makes sense. Choose the top five people you want to spend most time around and look for ways you can spend more time with them . Create your Success Team. If you don’t have such people in your life (a lot of people don’t) think of the people out there in this world who are doing what you want to do, then increase your contact with their works. Have a look at their books, podcasts, downloads, courses etc. and implement the relevant information.

Remind yourself of your vision
Think about your ideal vision. What is it? Think about you at your best. Then, write that down so you have it to hand, if you need it. You might like to put it in your diary or on your computer screen saver or even on your fridge door. Pick somewhere that you can access easily and that will remind you on a regular basis of what you want to achieve. If you get distracted by naysayers, look back at what you’ve written and revisit your vision. Recall exactly what you want to achieve. Think about exactly what you want and stay focused on that.

And to help you further, here is a gift from me to you, a FREE ebook: https://www.donnakennedy.com/#ebook There are some things in it that will help move you forward.

If you need additional support, you are welcome to join my membership club or contact me. Details are on the homepage .https://www.donnakennedy.com/