Read this fully and then question. It could change your day and your life!
A grandfather is talking with his grandson. The grandfather says, “In life, there are two wolves inside of us which are always at battle. One is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love. The other is a bad wolf which represents things like greed, hatred, and fear.” The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather replies, “The one you feed.”
Now let’s take the above story and apply it to your average day, how you feel during it, and the results you are getting. Just like the battle above, your feelings, which lead to results, need fuel to generate and grow. Yes, did you know that feelings must be generated in order to grow and continue? Feelings can happen in response to something, yes, but they are moment-to-moment neurochemical responses to your internal and external environment as a process, that can either continue or be stopped. For example, imagine someone tells you that you are useless. Initially, it could upset you because in a way, being told you are not good enough is a type of rejection, which the human brain perceives as a threat and tries to avoid at all costs. However, and this is the important make-or-break bit, what you do with THAT next will determine what follows. There are two options:
After the initial feeling you either choose to:
1) Acknowledge the feeling and dissipate it with a more powerful and positive thought, e.g. ‘That’s their opinion but I am good enough simply because exist and cannot be compared.’
2) Layer a negative thought upon the feeling, e.g. ‘Maybe they are right?’, which compounds it and starts the generation process. “Maybe they are right” requires an answer, so your brain will by default go on a rapid search for a reason why they may be right. When it finds something, you get a choice to layer another thought upon it and, should you do that, the upset continues and the feeling will grow.
So, the key is to take control of what happens AFTER the initial feeling is initiated. Feelings are instinctual responses to a perceived threat and involve impulse. Thought comes second and the feeling is generated by compounding it with thoughts. So, you must DECIDE how you are going to respond, instead of jumping on the train with the feeling. As the saying goes, it’s not what happens to you that matters as much as how you respond to it. This can take practice, but it is so worth doing and getting good at!
Today, ask yourself how you have been responding to what is going on around you and to any ensuing thoughts. Are you lingering and layering the negative or are you dissipating the negative and feeding the positive? Really consider this now because your choice of focus WILL determine your results.
Ask yourself these three questions:
1.What result do you want?
2. What is the source and method by which you compound and layer? If you are generating feelings that don’t serve you, you are engaging in a compounding layering process. It starts with one thing, then layered with another, then another — step-by-step. although it can feel so fast that it appears automatic! For example, after the initial feeling it may start when you ask yourself a specific question or when you rehash something someone said in the past, or when you visualise failing etc. Slow it down and look at your “recipe method” step-by-step. This is really worth doing.
3. How might you change the feeling generation, so you steer your feelings in a positive direction that allows you to achieve your goals?
I am happy to help you do this as it is a skill. If you haven’t downloaded my FREE ebook yet, please do, as it will help you reframe things at least https://donnakennedy.com/#ebook but if you really want to step up your life, as you deserve to live FULLY, join my club https://www.donnakennedy.com/join-donnas-club/ and let’s get things moving for you. I will continue to encourage you and support you, as I know what this club does and have seen how it dramatically enhances results. Life is for living, not settling, Should you apply what I teach you, you will get results. LIVE FULLY now! See https://www.donnakennedy.com/join-donnas-club/